Some educated guesses about Trump’s second term

Tim Marshman: What about you, McKenna?

McKenna Kelly: I feel like this popular story is in my mind, maybe it’s true, I need to verify it, but Jimmy Carter when he entered the office, saw some UFO files and cried, and never said anything about it again.

Tim Marshman: I think I heard this too.

McKenna Kelly: Yes, and I don’t know if it’s real. I just tried to do some research. Thinking about Trump finding out about this stuff, I don’t know if he’ll release it. I wouldn’t be optimistic.

Tim Marshman: I don’t think they would publish anything because he was already president and did not publish the material in question. I believe what the secret files would reveal if declassified is that the United States engaged in a cover-up of Lee Harvey Oswald and his relationship with the Soviet Union, fearing that their publication would lead to nuclear war. Much of the subsequent cover-up was a cover-up of a cover-up. I believe the UFO Files will show that extraterrestrial biological entities crashed in New Mexico in the 1940s and led the United States government on a journey of discovery about the nature of the universe, including aliens that created religious figures known throughout human history. As guides to give humans instructions on how not to harm their bodies that serve as containers for souls that the aliens harvest for energy. This has been the theory, at least put forward by many UFO proponents since the 1980s, and I of course firmly believe it to be true, and Donald Trump will probably confirm it. McKenna and David, thanks so much for being here. When we return, it’s time for our final plot of the week.

Tim Marshman: Welcome back to WIRED Policy Lab. This is the plot of the week, that part of the show where our guests bring their favorite conspiracy theories and I’ll rule in Leia’s stead. This week’s winner gets to brag about it forever, so I hope you both bring something good back. McKenna, let’s start with you.

McKenna Kelly: Yes, I’m glad you mentioned aliens and the JFK assassination because I’ll be completing the trilogy with this. One conspiracy theory that I think went through the roof, so to speak, this year, was about chemical compounds. These are the trails that planes leave as they fly through the sky, and they’re obviously spreading all these chemicals and destroying and poisoning us, when in fact it’s just water vapor. Earlier this year, with the hurricane that hit North Carolina, there were conspiracies about the chemistry pathways that occur there. Tennessee legislators have passed a bill about something that regulates the use of chemical compounds, and it’s crazy stuff. But this week, oh my god, I lost my temper when I saw this. There was what appeared to be a sarcastic joke online about a Lufthansa pilot refusing to spray his son with chemicals while he was flying the plane. He apparently got up on stage and said, “I’m not going to do that.” And the chemtrail, I guess we could call it the chemtrail community, was very happy with it. This is not true, it was a joke. Yes.