Lucas Gage details being molested by a camp counselor in the book

Lucas Gage He said he found “empathy” for his younger self while writing His new memoirs – Even if it brings up difficult memories for him and his family.

One moment in particular was triggering for his mother, when he detailed being molested by a camp counselor in his youth.

“It killed me to hear her hurt so much about some of the things that happened to us,” Gage, 30, said exclusively. Us Weekly before I wrote this out of interestHis book was released on Tuesday, October 14, in reference to the moment he had to tell his mother that he was forced to perform sexual acts in front of a counselor.

“I think, you know, as a mother, I feel like you don’t want to feel like you’re letting your kids down. You just want what’s best for them,” the Euphoria alum shared with we. “There were a lot of things that were out of her control, and you can only protect your children so much.”

While his mother couldn’t protect him from getting hurt, Gage said she was always “amazing” as a mother.

“She took on the role of parent and mother, as if she was really bad,” he gushed. “I guess there was nothing she could have done to protect me. The world is a crazy, scary place, and you can only protect your children so much.”

Despite feeling bad for his mother and her emotional reaction to his trauma, Gage decided to be vulnerable All aspects of his life are in his book. This included recounting his uncomfortable encounter with an older camp counselor years earlier.

“Suddenly,” Gage wrote in his memoirs, “the tent door opened, and we both froze. A shadowy figure appeared in their faces. As the silhouette approached, I realized it was the advisor who was always flirting with all the other advisors.” “The handsome Australian in his 20s: someone who exuded a raw, intoxicating masculinity and a powerful charm that made him look a decade older – the very man I longed to be.”

White lotus actor He was all dressed up, but felt like we “could have been naked” because of the way the counselor “looked us up and down,” he remembers.

“I tried to cover myself, even though nothing was exposed and there was nowhere to go,” Gage wrote, noting that he was with a fellow camper named Nina when the counselor “entered the tent and closed the tarp behind him.”

Gage recalls realizing almost immediately that he “wouldn’t get in trouble” for being in the tent with Nina if he chose to “perform” for the counselor.

“He unzipped his pants when he started getting closer. I knew it was wrong the way it was happening. It was wrong of him,” the actor wrote. “It was wrong that I was a little emotional, that I felt uncomfortable, that I felt nothing at all. And it was wrong that I liked the thrill of doing something forbidden.”

Gage explained that his “skin was dirty” and his stomach “tugged with fear” but he used his “anxiety and tried to turn it into excitement.”

He noted that the counselor touched himself as Gage was asked to “kiss her hard” and take off his shirt to bring their bodies closer together.

“I hesitated, then reluctantly began to take off my shirt. Time began to speed up, and suddenly I was no longer afraid. I was no longer present for it. A whole new avatar had emerged,” Gage wrote. “I was completely detached from myself – watching, detached, as if I were on my computer screen controlling one of my Sims.”

After some time passed, Gage recalled, the counselor made a “sound of relief” and then “came on my sleeping bag.”

“When I returned to my body, I was now alone in the same sleeping bag, watching the sun begin to rise. What happened last night?”

After writing his memoirs, Gage said we One of The hardest parts I was learning to “be true to myself.”

“I think it’s really easy to talk about a lot of things in your life and kind of brush it off, or, you know, be very superficial with it. But I think that like going deeper and being honest with myself, I felt like I understood myself a lot more,” he explained.

“I had so much empathy for that younger, reckless, reckless kid. He was amazing. I feel so grateful that I had so much time to delve into myself,” Gage revealed.

I wrote this out of interest Available now wherever books are sold.

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, call National Sexual Assault Hotline At 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).