I lost my association to the outside world, as Israel continues to bomb in Gaza Israel’s conflict and the two

Khan Yunis, Gaza – The dear companion should not be a human being to deepen it in depth when losing.

Sometimes, it’s a phone – a loyal witness to your joys and sorrows, and for your moments of sweetness and the darkest of pain.

In the harshness of life in the largest in the world’s open -air prison, it becomes more than one device. It is an extension of yourself. Your gate to the world, and your way of reaching your loved ones spread across or outside.

Through her lenses, sometimes she is joy and beauty, but often, it only captures the fall or ruins of homes covering the bodies of their residents.

But what did you leave when this sincere companion disappears before the genocide?

My phone surrendered to his injuries

My phone surrenders to his injuries.

I cannot believe that I describe it in this way, with the same phrase that I use when reporting thousands of my people who were killed after being deprived of urgent medical treatment, punishing merely to survive of Israeli bombs.

But in his own way, my phone holds his share of this long Israeli cruelty, the enzyme of forces, erosion through dust and sand, suffocation in the feverish tents, and the continuous torment of bad contact.

I tried to stick, but everyone has a limit of endurance. It fell on the day that we left our damaged house for our fourteenth displacement amid chaotic stamping.

Somehow survived the heavy blow, but it only lasted 70 days after breaking her screen and ventilating her body, until her wounds spread very far.

Then it became dark for good.

From the stranger, I felt condolences. Not because it was not painful, but because I was not alone. I have seen the same thing happening to others: friends, relatives who watch their phones slowly perish, just like people who loved.

Strange, we find comfort in these small common losses. Our loved ones perished, and our welfare is destroyed, yet we expect our phones not. The real miracle is that they have never continued this long.

Smartphones are addicted to the word ton. But in Gaza, if you are lucky enough to continue one, then this is not addiction, then this is to survive.

It is an escape. A small glowing gate clinging to it. This helps you to slide shortly in the past, passing through memories, staring at the faces of their loved ones who have now become names on the graves or names that are still whispering in hope.

Your emotional memory still carries its beautiful smiles. It connects you with people you cannot reach, and voices you cannot hear. It fills the pain not by recovering, but by spending your attention.

Like hunger that you cannot satisfy, so you can scroll through delicious dining rollers, and make fun of your vacuum.

You see strangers at family dinner while burying your table under the rubble. You are wondering, how do they dare publish such scenes, knowing that children are starving to death a few kilometers away? However, you continue to pass, because for a moment, it is a calming soothing.

“Are you alive?”

When you are a person who daily advances the constant genocide of the world, finding a new companion becomes inevitable. However, the research is catastrophic in Gaza.

You may think it is impossible to find one here, as life has become ruined and even bread has become rare, but it is surprising that there are many options, even the latest high -end brands that somehow found their way through the siege.

But this is Gaza, where the flour bag costs $ 700, so the cost of the phone is at a completely different level.

Even the lower quality phones in temporary stores sell more than what costs the construction of the store itself, enlarged due to the circumstances of the genocide.

It does not stop there. You should pay a cash, in a place where there is almost nothing but the air you breathe.

The iPhone may cost $ 1,000 elsewhere, but here costs $ 4200.

So you turn into cheaper options, in the hope of something more affordable, but the calculations remain the same.

But this is not me – because in both cases, by spending such amounts that cannot be conceived, you enhance the reality in which your kidnappers are trying to impose, and do so with your own money.

You realize that you feed on its design. We are already draining everything that remains in our pockets only for the flour during the siege of this genocide, and we do not know how long it will continue.

So, you are clinging to what you have, to avoid pushing your soul at the GHF center for a deadly “help” you will never get.

For a while now, I felt paralyzed, a particularly familiar deficit during the total communications communications imposed by Israel for two weeks in June-during which my phone finally died in complete silence.

When families cut the other lifeline, it is more than just his inability to check their loved ones. This means that ambulances cannot be called. This means that the wounded person may die in the dark, unheard.

It seems as if someone is present, and decides harshly when you are allowed to contact or call the world, to receive the classification now: “Are you alive?”

There is a harsh paradox in Israel, which issue expulsion orders online, even because it reduces the networks that people in Gaza need to receive. You only discover when you see thousands of streets, and the Earth trembles under their feet of Israeli attacks.

The hand that controls your digital lifeline is the same one who was blocking your land and colonizing it for years.

And you realize, with certainty, that if they can prevent the air you breathe, they will not hesitate.

So, it rises

There are still moments when, instinctively, I communicate to contact someone or check something – but my hand does not touch anything.

My companion went. I am still without power, no power under siege, digital and material.

After that, you begin to compare your restrictions with the abundance of your kidnappers, and your extermination of full access to every technological privilege, every luxury.

On the other hand, you are chased with the most advanced weapons in the world, under the watchful eye and silent collusion of the technology giants whose tools support your hawthis.

While they use satellites and micro -guided missiles, you just want to tell the world that you are still here.

How much your missing companion was necessary. It was not just a phone. It was your sword, your shield, watch you.

In the face of this tyranny, surrender is something you cannot bear. Therefore, it rises.

You whisper, “a break in power, my companion”, because we refuse to slaughter in silence.

We will continue to say our truth, even if all that we left is a scrap of paper and low ink.