It is recognized as a flexible person who feels great. Waster in the difficult moments that build Steadfastness Less luster.
The development of emotional endurance, or the ability to withstand stress or discomfort without leaving negative feelings exceeding you, can help this process to feel the same flexibility and more like an opportunity to learn and grow, Columbia University Training psychologist Becky Kennedy CNBC tells her.
“Whenever we understand that frustration and conflict are in fact a sign that we (learn), and it is not a sign that we are doing something wrong, it becomes much easier to bear it,” says Kennedy, a New York -based myself and a Podcast host.
You can reach this state of understanding by following these three steps, as she says:
Keep a visible useful
In February Instagram ballKennedy explained that learning occurs between the field of knowledge and not knowing something.
Kennedy says you do not immediately get acquainted with knowledge as you don’t have anything previously, and Kennedy can feel that the transition from point A to point B may feel frustrated. When a new job begins, for example, you will likely learn some new skills, make some errors and enhance some new contacts before you start feeling comfortable in this role.
Kennedy says that the way between knowledge and not knowing something is very similar to a winding line of a straight and narrow line, so when you feel frustrated, remember yourself that learning takes time. You can do this by drawing or looking at a simple diagram of the scenario, such as this:
Dr. Becky Kennedy’s scheme explains the distance between knowledge and lack of knowledge.
Ashton Jackson
“The presence of a kind of visual for yourself is very useful,” says Kennedy. “Every time you try to do something new, when your voice begins to say,” Oh, this is very difficult. I can’t know that, “The visible gives you a different story.
Evil about talking about oneself
If you constantly tell yourself “this is very difficult” or “I will never go there”, you will start believing it. Your inner dialogue turns into something more positive, supportive and understanding, Kennedy is recommended.
Try to tell yourself something like that, she says: “This seems difficult because it is difficult. I haven’t counted it yet, and I can continue to try. I can take a breath and take a break and return when I am ready.”
Even if you do not believe what you say to yourself, passing the suggestions – mainly, is fake until you make it – it will help, because this practice will help you feel more confident over time, she says.
Kennedy says: “Talking about oneself is very strong. How does we end up feeling something that is a mixture of feeling and how we talk to ourselves about feeling, and we cannot change our feelings, but we can change the way we talk with our feelings,” Kennedy says.
Positive self -speaking can improve your skills in adapting and building your mental strength, allowing you to make more effort than you think you are able to do so, according to 2020 studies It was published in the Sports Science and Management Magazine. The study found that this could increase your inner motives and to help you enjoy learning more.
Take a small experience
Start with small goals Kennedy says, instead of expecting to reach your long -term vision.
If you set a big goal and shorten it, it is unlikely to try again any time soon, she says. If you want to be more active, you are obligated to take 20 minutes on foot three times a week instead of trying to hit the gym for an hour every day, for example.
“Take a small experience that you are uncomfortable: I will talk to my manager about those annoying things. I will have this conversation with my friend,” says Kennedy. “These are small experiences that tell your body,” I am a person who can be in the learning space and tolerate discomfort. “The more our body learns that we can bear this space, the more we can bear it in other areas as well.”
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