Gigi Perez talks about the “shock” of her sister’s death, and faces backlash (except)

Five years after the sudden loss of her musical sister Gigi Perez She is still learning how to overcome her grief.

“It took me years,” Perez, 25, said. Us Weekly In an exclusive interview ahead of her first weekend performance at Austin City Limits Music Festival 2025. “And I will always process it, and grief manifests itself in different ways as I go on throughout my life. But I think it took me a long time to really understand what I was feeling, because it was just an overload of trauma.”

the next CelineUnexpected death in 2020, Perez She channeled her emotions In her music, she wrote a song named after her sister, which quickly went viral. “I think words are one aspect of it,” she said. we“But then also, like the way I hear music and my taste and my musical palette have changed in the five years from when I lost my sister until today. So the (healing) process seems painfully slow.”

Perez’s success on social media led to her being signed to her first recording contract. her debut EP, How to catch a falling knife, It will be released in 2023. Earlier this year, she dropped the amazing album On the beach, in every lifewhich includes fan favorites like “Sailor Song” and “Sugar Water.”

Perez said working on the record was “very relaxing.” we. “I think about the album and I think about how much I needed to spice it up. When I wrote those songs — when I wrote ‘Sugar Water,’ when I wrote ‘At the Beach, in Every Life,’ when I wrote ‘Crown’ — (I think) how much it meant to me to be able to put it out.”

Along with the loss of her sister, Perez Struggle with loss Because of its connection to her faith. Raised in a devout Christian family, Perez’s perspective on religion has since changed, a journey explored through the “complicated” song “Fable.”

“I struggled with it for a long time and was never able to find the right words for it in a way that was satisfying to me. And writing ‘Fable’ hit it all right,” she said.

Perez delved into her feelings about her faith on “Fable” after a lyric from “Sailor Song” — “I don’t believe in God, but I believe you’re my savior” — drew criticism from a more conservative group of listeners. Perez said we She had been battling similar “critical voices” in her head before the speech began.

“Everyone was like, ‘What the hell?'” she recalled. “And I said (that line) with a sense of remorse, of shame, of anger. There was no sense of pride in saying that I don’t believe in God. (That idea) is so devastating. I want to believe in God. … And I think it brought to light a lot of my hurts and self-judgments, and the feeling of committing blasphemy.”

Despite facing backlash, Perez is happy to start the conversation. “Now I look at it and I’m so grateful for this experience, and to have this experience, because I know that a lot of people’s relationships with God are much more complicated,” she explained. “And I believe that in order to have an honest relationship with God or the concept of it, you have to be able to express all aspects of it. People who live in a perfect world where they never think twice about Him, that’s great for you. But there are a lot of people who have very complicated relationships with God.”

Perez’s relationship became more complicated when she discovered her identity as a lesbian. Having told her sister when she was a teenager, Perez feels “grateful” to have found comfort at home The broader LGBTQ+ communityEspecially as an artist.

“It’s very important to me… and I think we need each other now more than ever,” she said. we To make room for gay musicians in the industry. “We need to encourage each other and lift each other up. And so, even though I am a small part of the rainbow with my own specific set of experiences, I definitely look to others to learn from and be in the community with.”

“The more representation, the better,” Perez added. “I think we still have a lot of work to do in terms of bringing visibility to others.”