An embarrassment from start to finish

Get enough Star Trek fans in a room and the conversation will inevitably shift toward which of the series’ cinematic outings is the worst. The consensus opinion is The final frontier, rebellion and enemy They compete for the unwanted trophy. Each film has a small group of fans who will defend each film’s excesses, boldness, and tone. (I’m biased to watch The final frontier Every five years or so, mostly to enjoy Jerry Goldsmith’s score.) Fortunately, all these debates will stop once and for all on January 24, 2024, when Star Trek: Section 31 Debuts on Paramount+.

It’s the worst thing to have the Star Trek name in living memory.

Star Trek: Section 31 spoilers follow.

Star Trek: Section 31 Made for television A streaming film focusing on Philippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh) after her passing Star Trek: Discovery. It was originally greenlit in 2019 as a series, but for a variety of reasons, remained in development hell until 2022. Meanwhile, showrunners Bo Yeon Kim and Erika Lippoldt, along with acclaimed screenwriter Craig Sweeny, have been sweating over the idea. Director Olatunde Osunsanmi said SFX Magazine (via ) that Sweeney would eventually write (and rewrite) the project seven different times, first as a television series, then as a film. He was keen to begin production to capitalize on Yeoh’s 2022 Oscar win Everything everywhere at once.

The result is a movie that, even if you’re not aware of the pre-production backstory, certainly feels like a series that was hastily shortened to movie length. It’s not incoherent, but it has the same problem that messed it up discoverywhere you see a dramatic summary instead of the text. There are thematic and plot beats that fit together, but the meat that holds it all together is lacking. It’s just Things that happen.

It doesn’t help that the plot (credited to Kim and Lippoldt) looks a lot like the “And Then This Happens” variety they warn you about in Film School 202. There are several key moments in the film that are completely unearned, and I’m asking you to care about the characters you meet She just got into it and doesn’t like it very much. There’s a ridiculous scene at the end where two people who didn’t really give you the impression that they liked each other have to hold hands and stare down their impending doom. The couple in question have shared their backstories with each other, but there’s no indication that they’re more than just people working together at a job, let alone friends.

Weak material isn’t that much of a problem if you have a cast that can live up to what they’re given, but, and it pains me to say this, this is not Michelle Yeoh. Yeoh is an exceptional performer who has delivered a series of underrated performances during her long and distinguished career. But she made her name playing characters with deep interiority, not scenery-chewing villains. Even in her redemptive phase, it’s impossible to believe that Yoh is the kind of monster Star Trek needs for Georgiou. Instead of paring down the spectacle and stakes to suit her talents, the film makes the canvas more expansive and expects Yeoh to fill space where she never needs to.

Likewise, the rest of the gang doesn’t get enough material, and the sheer amount of chaos is such that the film has little time to get through. Making the Section 31 team six people before they meet Georgiou means that every character outside of it is a sketch at best. There’s the nurturing person, the “funny” person, the nervous person, the robot, the sexy person, and the person with a bad Irish accent.

if Article 31 It was a series, and you’ll forgive the pithy introductions, knowing that you’ll be able to fill these characters in over the coming weeks, and perhaps even grow more attached to them. In film, it doesn’t work, because shocking twists – like a character dying early to raise the stakes or a sudden twist at a moment of crisis – don’t work. What’s worse is that the dialogue is often indecipherable slurred speech, which feels more like a sad improvement than a useful description. That, or they’re just characters reminding the audience of key story points over and over, like the fact that Georgiou was evil.

Olatunde Osunsanmi’s direction has always made an effort to draw attention to itself, with flashy pans, tilts, movements, and Dutch angles. Surprisingly, all his flair leaves him when he just needs to shoot people talking in a room – these scenes always default to the standard television medium. What’s worse is his direction of action, which loses any sense of the space we’re seeing or the story being told. There is a final battle that requires the audience to be aware of who has the MacGuffin at various points. But it’s all so incoherent that you’ll have a hard time pinpointing what’s going on where, so why bother engaging with it?

And that’s before we get to the fact that Osunanmi chose to photograph all of Michelle Yeoh’s photos — Michelle Yeoh – Close-up fighting scenes. When Yeoh moves, you want to capture the full range of her talents and allow her and her fellow artists a chance to show off, too. However, in these moments the camera gets very close – with what looks like digital footage with a dose of digital motion blur. All of this works to hide Yoh’s talents and drain any energy out of the event.

Before watching Article 31re-watched related stories from Deep Space Nine And try to question their morals. That series questioned several times the lengths someone would, could, or should go to defend their ideals and worldview. The Federation was often described as a form of heaven, but did heaven need its own lynch squad? It wasn’t a A cold, sinister plotBut it’s a thought experiment to interrogate what Starfleet and its people stand for when its very existence is in danger. If there’s one thing Section 31 isn’t, it’s great, and if you think it is, your values ​​are at least halfway at odds with the founding spirit of Star Trek.

Unfortunately for us, Trek honcho Alex Kurtzman thinks Starfleet having its own alien kill team is pretty cool given their frequent appearances under his watch. Kurtzman has never hidden his love for novels of the War on Terror era, which are still not as welcome here as they were in the past. Star Trek: Into the Dark. Unfortunately, Article 31 It’s Star Trek in . Basically, it’s not fun to sit down and watch, regardless of its many shortcomings as a piece of cinema.

The elder says so Article 31 It wasn’t going to be a winner when Rob Kasinski, who plays Zev on Section 31, started having his excuses early on. He said (Heb ) He was concerned that the film would be poorly received since all fans wanted was “just 1,000 more episodes of… TNG“I will admit that there is a large group of fans who just want to be fed a conveyor belt of ‘organic berries.’ These are the people who thought about a third season.” Picard It was good and they demand it Star Trek: Legacy. I, and a lot of other people, just want something thoughtful, entertaining, and well-made, and this is none of those things.

I keep checking my notes for anything positive and the best thing I can do is that the costumes, co-designed with Balenciaga, are very beautiful. And they are very little star warsbut I like the emphasis on texture and stitching way better than Trek’s current sporty trend. Oh, and the CGI is competent and doesn’t stoop below the standards I set Strange new worlds. There you go, two good things about them Article 31.

Basically, I don’t know who this is for. It’s pretty damning for people who want Star Trek in any kind of thoughtful chronicle. It wasn’t launched with the fan service that would do that Pimp to Please Star Trek: Legacy crowd. It’s not brutal enough for the gang you want Star Trek to turn into 24. Which isn’t high camp enough for people who want to enjoy Michelle Yeoh in a variety of cool outfits. Remember how Warner Bros. I wish Paramount’s accountants were that tough here.