This parental mistake creates mentally weak children

Sometimes, you need to let children know how to solve problems, or bear the consequences of their decisions, all on their own.

That’s according to psychiatrist and best-selling author Daniel Amen. Parents often make the mistake of “over-exaggerating” towards their children, which results in “mentally weak children”, Amen He said podcast “Built Different” in an episode that aired Tuesday.

Such behaviors — such as doing a class project for your kids yourself to help them get better grades, or giving them what they want just to stop the next tantrum — limit children’s mental resilience and sense of independence, Amin said. Children are very flexible They are more likely to become happy and successful adultsResearch shows.

“When my daughter forgets her homework at home, no one brings her to school,” Amin said. “If she doesn’t bring a jacket on a cold day, even though her mother asked her to, no one will bring her a jacket.” “It’s very important that when a child says ‘I’m bored’ instead of you fixing it, you just say ‘I wonder what you’re going to do about that’.”

He added: “If you do too much for your children, you increase your self-esteem by stealing their respect.” “(Humans) develop mental toughness through problem solving.”

Build the child’s mental flexibility This parenting approach does not require “tough love.” Of harsh punishments, Tova Klein, a child psychologist at Barnard College, told CNBC Make It last year. Trying to protect children from disappointment won’t help them build resilience, either, Klein said.

Instead, you can let your children experience setbacks, mistakes, and other difficult moments — while letting them know that you still support and love them.

“I see it as a more empathetic and connected (approach),” Klein said. “This may be tough, and I’ll be here when you’re done with this,” he said, adding: “It’s a message: ‘I trust you to get through this tough thing, and I’ll be here no matter how it goes, whether you win, whether you lose, whether you get in the middle,’ I am here for you.

Likewise, the more you encourage children to help people around them — from daily chores at home to their friends and classmates — the more empowerment and responsibility they need to face their challenges with confidence, according to the American Psychological Association. He pointed in 2012 blog post.

“Let them start discovering their problems, or finding solutions to their problems, instead of getting too involved in them,” Amin said.

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