The Israeli captured on October 7 says to return to the other hostages: “Until they return… I cannot live”

Jerusalem – Early in the morning of October 7, 2023, Ohad Ben-Ami heard an alarm clock go off in his community on Kibbutz Beri. He and his wife ran to the safety of their home room, where they quickly realized something unusual was happening.

On his phone, Ben-Ami could see that alarms were sounding on a nearby kibbutz. There were also reports of airborne attacks. Turn off the phone to avoid panic.

About 15 minutes later, he heard people outside.

“Then I understand that it is very severe, and it is not just a missile attack. It is something much more complex,” Ben-Ami said as Israel prepared to celebrate. Two years since the attack.

He began receiving messages from neighbors who told him that attackers had entered their homes. So he crawled from the safety of his room to try to secure the doors to his house. Then, he was shot.

As he retreated to his safe room, the attackers followed him. They easily opened the door behind him, which was only intended to protect the inside from projectiles or fire and could not be locked.

When they entered, Ben-Ami’s wife was hidden, so Ben-Ami told them he was alone.

“I was sure I would succeed,” he said.

But unlike many of his neighbors that day at Kibbutz Be’eri, Ben Ami was not killed. Loaded into the back seat of a car, he was taken to Gaza, where he would spend 491 days in captivity.

“In my mind, I’m there”

During his time as a hostage, Ben Ammi was moved from apartment to apartment. Many did not have running water or functioning toilets.

“The conditions were very bad. Very bad. All the time, the IDF (Israel Defense Forces) is bombing. So we are very afraid of dying from our bombs,” Ben-Ami said.

Sometimes he was held with other hostages, including – for a while – his wife Raz Ben-Ami, who was also captured. She was released in the first hostage deal and prisoner exchange between Israel and Hamas later in 2023.

Ben-Ami was taken underground, into the Hamas tunnel network, where he said there was no light, little food, and sanitary conditions were very poor.

He was placed in an area with two other hostages, Elkaha Bohbot and Bar Kuperstein. Three more Israeli captives joined them, but the amount of food they received did not increase.

“All the time, we are hungry. We are very nervous. We are trying to struggle and get used to the situation,” he said.

The group began to lose weight, trying to portion out on very limited food. But despite the terrible conditions, Benami managed to carry on.

“They (Hamas) let us see TV for 15 minutes once a month…so we saw that people in Israel are fighting for us,” he said. “They (Hamas) told us that our government does not want us back. The army, the Israeli army, is looking to kill us. The Israeli government will not pay the price. And our families are calm. But when we saw on TV that all of Israel is coming out…it gives us hope. It gave us a lot of hope to move forward and be strong.”

In February of this year, Ben Ammi was released as part of a recent prisoner-and-hostage swap deal, but his comrades were not.

“When I think about five of my friends and all the 48 hostages who are still there, I am very worried for them,” Ben-Ami said. “I love my country, and I love the people, but our government is separate. Even now, I have a feeling of humiliation. I feel like they have abandoned me.”

As negotiations are underway in Egypt for a deal that could see all remaining hostages released, Ben Am says he is hopeful.

“I talk and talk – but in my mind, I’m there. So until they come back, all 48, I can’t live. I’m still a hostage. I’m a free man, but not in my soul,” he said. “I ask all parties to go to the middle and then … to shake hands and finish it and bring (home) all the hostages. To give our nation time to recover, as well as the Palestinians. They also need to recover from all this thing that happened.”